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The OS Beers!
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BigWarpGuy
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since: 12 Jan, 2001
1. The OS Beers!
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"
DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an
8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into
8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be consumed separately.
Although soon to be discontinued, a lot of people are going to keep
drinking it after it's no longer available.

Mac Beer
At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When
you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not
on the can. If you call the brewery to ask about the ingredients, you are
told that you don't need to know. A notice on the side reminds you to drag
your empties to the trash can.

Windows 3.1 Beer
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac
Beer's. Requires that you already own DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you
to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only
drink a few of them, very slowly. It is especially slow if you are drinking
the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a
can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

OS/2 Beer
Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers
simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too,
but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode when you open
them, even if you shake them up first. You never really see anyone drinking
OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims
that 9 million six-packs have been sold.

Windows 95 Beer
No one drinks it much yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and
claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes
more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look
inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will
probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95
Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small
print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though
the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.

Windows NT Beer
Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This causes
most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looks
just like the Windows 3.1 Beer can, but the company promises to change the
can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95 Beer starts
shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for
use in bars.

UNIX Beer
Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz.
Drinkers of UNIX Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they claim
that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the
pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your own
can opener around for those occasions, in which case you either need a
complete set of instructions or a friend who has been drinking UNIX Beer
for several years.

AmigaDOS Beer
The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked up
by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import. AmigaDOS
Beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer didn't
understand marketing. Like UNIX Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans are an extremely
loyal and loud group. It originally came in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in
32-oz. cans too. When this can was originally introduced, it appeared
flashy and colorful, but the design hasn't changed much over the years, so
it appears dated now. Critics of this beer claim that it is only meant for
watching TV anyway.

- Author unknown
"


BigWarpGuy
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
OS/2-eCS.org
Director of Communications
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
supporting the past OS/2 user and the future eCS user
http://www.os2ecs.org
Date: 10 Nov, 2005 on 00:22
Fahrvenugen
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since: 10 Aug, 2004
2. Re:The OS Beers!
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Just to comment on the AmigaDos Beer and the Mac beer - both were always a 32 oz can right from day 1. Never had 16 oz versions, as they were both originally built to use the Motorolla 6800 Beer can holder
Date: 10 Nov, 2005 on 05:56
osw
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posts: 44
since: 05 Apr, 2005
3. Re:The OS Beers!
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Fahrvenugen (10 Nov, 2005 05:56):
Just to comment on the AmigaDos Beer and the Mac beer - both were always a 32 oz can right from day 1. Never had 16 oz versions, as they were both originally built to use the Motorolla 6800 Beer can holder

Well, actualy Motorolla 68000 was 16 Beer's can holder, as well as both mentioned beers were in 16 oz cans for a long time before switched to 32 oz cans...

Date: 10 Nov, 2005 on 12:44
The OS Beers!
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